Yo-Ho-Ho, and a Bottle of Rum

I don’t drink much anymore, which I find makes tolerating the world and other people a lot harder. On my most recent trip to Kona, I did overserve myself with a delicious island produced coconut flavored rum. I have come to the self-understanding that a hangover is a lot more painful and often not worth alcohol’s support tolerating the world. My goodness over indulging at 70 is many times more horrendous than hangover episodes that occurred when I was younger.

With my wealth of experience, I shall now list indicators to confirm you may be hung dog:

1. You wake up and are still fully dressed. This is a bad sign.

2. You can’t remember the end of the evening or just vaguely remember.

3. Your wife fills you in on the events of the evening, with an underlying glee, at a time you are really not in a mood to hear about it.

4. You have a feeling of death warmed over.

5. Last but not least, you lie to yourself. I will never do that again.

On the positive side, I did enjoy meeting a new fellow drinker on my Kona trip. Men bond easily, especially after a couple of drinks and the local Hawaiian was an interesting storyteller (that is what male b.s. is called in Hawaii). Note to self, don’t go head to head in drinking with an ex-marine.

We have met many interesting people in this fashion on the enchanted isle. Many years ago my wife and I, on our 25th anniversary, ended up in the town of Pahoa, Hawaii. We met the so-called sheriff and the son of 1950’s wrestler, The Great Samoan. We soon were celebrating with many beers and the sheriff announced one of his best crops of marijuana had just been harvested. I knew then that he wasn’t a real policeman because he didn’t offer me any. A real officer of the law would have shared. The son of the wrestler was on the up and up because he gave us free breakfast coupons for his diner in Hilo. The next day we visited the diner and on the walls were pictures of his dad in the wrestling ring. The following day we golfed and met a wonderful couple who invited us over for pupu (Hawaiian snacks, and drinks). The moral of the story, if you go to Hawaii, make friends with the locals. They are the most wonderful people and always have a good tale to tell. Our quarter of century celebration finished with a Rolling Stones concert at Aloha Stadium on Oahu. Unbelievably, it is possible our half-century celebration can be a redo. The Stones are still a knocking and so are we.

Epilogue to the hangover. Three days later and I FEEL GOOD. This is the best I’ve felt in months. Obviously, a purge was in order. It could be, however, a combo of being in paradise, and the local coconut rum cleansing. Whatever, I feeeeel right, like sugar and spice. I hope this isn’t considered plagiarism.

I’m thinking maybe I should drink more. Sometimes when I watch our president and Congress in action I feel I must have fallen into another plane of reality. The prez, especially, constantly gloats about the economy and all the great things he has accomplished. Looking around things for most people doesn’t look very rosy. Over 50% of our workforce makes less than $30,000 per year. Barely 50% of eligible voters bother to vote. Being old and having to watch what’s going on is just unbelievable. I agree, most politicians have trouble with the truth but our president takes it to a new level. Who would have thunk that boys will be boys applied to a U.S. president? Maybe his parents spared the rod and spoiled the child. The crap he pulls definitely wouldn’t have been allowed in my house growing up. Making money seems to overrule common decency. Investing in the stock market is not really working for a living. It’s your money working to replicate. Trump is incapable of being truthful! Immigrants are being locked up and held in custody for however long the powers that be want and are kept in deplorable conditions. Our roads, education, healthcare, all infrastructure and civility to one another is for no better word, absolutely shitty. Love thy neighbor has gone totally out the window or is strictly for white people only. I really hope common sense makes a comeback. If you stop golfing and slow down on drinking not many of your so-called friends will stick around. Maybe if I start watching Fox News or CNN my popularity will again soar. I tell you how my new strategy goes in a future blog.

Another remedy is Koloa coconut flavored rum. Take as needed, sing some tunes, and the hell with all the absurdities going on in our country today. It also carries the additional bonus of renewing friendships and making new buddies. Fit in and be one of the boys.

Please try to be kind. I know it is not easy. I found it’s a lot easier on the islands.