If Your Book Doesn't Sell, There is Always the Stripper Pole!

As you all know, last year, I wrote and published a book telling our story of starting a successful business. My initial plan was to market it at book fairs and bookstores in fun locations. If losing money was my goal on this venture, then at the very least I could attempt to sell books in exotic locations that I’d like to visit before kicking the bucket. I have never been opposed to tax write-offs. Whelp, COVID-19 has limited my marketing strategy to Facebook and Amazon book advertisements. In this blog, I will attempt to explain the adventure of an old man vs. technology.

Both Facebook and Amazon offer online help with their advertising platforms. Facebook even provides an online coach, at no charge, to assist with this endeavor. My coach needs to buy my book.

Coach calls me on the phone, as he's not allowed to use a visual tool like Zoom or FaceTime, when we get disconnected. One minute later, my phone rings again.

I answer and my coach asks, “Is this Andy Lukomski? What is your email?”

We were just talking a minute ago about my ad! If Facebook has an official policy to do something, my guy will do it regardless of what common sense dictates. In ads, defining keywords help in book sales.

I ask my coach, “What keywords should I use to help sell my book?”

Coach responds, “It depends.”

What the hell? How can a coach not know what has been successful in the past for other people's book ads? It appears my man knows less than I do about creating successful Facebook ads. My coaching sessions continue once a week for three weeks. He continually called me between 6:30 AM and 7:00 AM to remind me of our next day's appointment. I politely told him not to call. Ok, maybe my response was not entirely polite. I can remember my appointments without his literal wake-up calls. He explains Facebook rules deems it necessary for the reminder calls. WTF!

My point, I’m on my own to promote book sales. The big winners will be Mr. Zuckerberg and Mr. Bezos. Ads can be expensive and experimental ads will cost money. I have no idea what will work but am not ready to give up, yet. A challenge in my elder years is invariably an enjoyable experience. After all, the two gentlemen mentioned above can use the money. The lesson to be learned, free isn't necessarily good but can offer a bit of comedic relief in an old guy's day.

On a positive note, quite a few people read my book on Kindle Unlimited. For this, I am paid $0.005. That's right, ½ cent for every page read. Shit ya, ½ cent for every page read with a maximum payment of $15.00 per month. Amazon used to payout $2.50 for every person who read the book. At that rate, it is possible to either break even or make a small profit. Appears the zillionaire owners of these companies are more interested in profits, profits, and more profits. I don't need the money, so personally, the satisfaction of people reading my story is more than adequate. After all, being an egotist is the main reason I wanted my tale to be told.